Judgments and Falsehoods

I know some hardened Christians. Living a life full of disappointment followed by disappointment (though my pastor today said they ought to be recognized as HISappointments), they know the Word, they hate what's false, and they get fed up with Christians-claimers who live in perpetual wickedness, those who claim Christ without actually following - or disbelieving that they actually have to be a part of the change. I know some Christians who are so fed up with being Christian because the Church isn't working...because the people in the Church with them aren't Christians...


Though spiritually there are but few...there are many who wear the outward badge of Christendom...



Do we know how strict God's standards are upon death and entrance into the bema seat judgment before eternal destinies are set?



Now that you're a Christian and have the "with God forever" status locked in...how good do you have to be now? Now that you've got the ticket, how often can you mess up before....it's taken back? Can God take back His gift? Can we reject a gift we've already accepted? What is to be made of Christians sinning? What happens to those sins? Do they hurt our eternal destiny? Do they matter? Do they keep us from greater rewards? Can we really be made for anything other than we are?



Masked apparition,
Dual-world collision,
Physical-spirit vision,
Eternal life decision,
If only we would listen,
He'd give us what we're missing,

Miracles and Signs (consider it saturday still, like me)

Pillar-fire, burning through the blackness,
Glory-cloud, teach me Truth so I can practice,
Blazing-shrub, reveal to me what I should know,
That on His holy-earth where every foot lands is hallowed.

Visible-hand, writing the Word upon the wall,
Aslan's Beasts honoring how the talking-ass stalled,
Wall-O-Seas rising, permitting the humble through,
That as long as the holy-people passed, no harm would they do.

Soul-food, satisfying the people's hunger,
Demon-exorcising, protecting captives from being plundered,
Word-healing, restoring the peoples' cells
Self-sacrificing, saving people from themselves.

There once was a compass that pointed east and west.
Never did the ends meet between the God-man's breast.
So He separated sin from His people and then took His last breath.
So it seemed finished as He met with Death,
But He wasn't done yet, there was another step left,
A step back up to Glory from whence came his Royal crest.
Death was astounded at this confounding play,
Then given his own burial in the burning lake.
The God-man signified His people, stamping them with His own Spirit.
The signet ring of God, God Himself.

skills

In the sky, diamonds dangling bright,
Little glimmers of the rocks burning their fires at night.

New material is easy,
Worlds beyond created just to please Thee,
Became like creation so that we could see Thee
Fulfilled Your own law so that we could believe Thee
Told me what You would do and they called it Prophecy

Who could imagine an imagination?
What weapon to wield could withstand the mind's machinations.

Narnia - From Beginning to End

I finished the Chronicles of Narnia today.

Ranking the books (assembled haphazardly)
1 - The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (most like George McDonald in style)
2 - The Magician's Nephew (creation of Narnia was awesome)
3 - Prince Caspian (better battle than LWW, and to return was cool)
4 - The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (it was the beginning, and the first battle)
5 - The Horse and His Boy (Cor is awesome, and for Aravis to get slashed by Aslan...sweet)
6 - The Silver Chair (great story, but slow)
7 - The Last Battle (a slight letdown, would have liked the Queen to reemerge for "the battle" and would have liked it to be in the garden)

I've not been dreaming of a White Christmas (even with the Narnia books)

I've been dreaming of love with abandon,
Large eyes filled with joy unimagined.

Our hope is the Lord, The King, Jesus


He lived in the same world.
He dealt with the same situations.
He conquered all, even Death.
Now He reigns over all.


Bless the Lord God, O our souls

Amazing

I started getting really going in some reading the other day....this chapter has got me spirit excited...especially verse 20

2 Chronicles 30
Hezekiah Celebrates the Passover
1 Hezekiah sent word to all Israel and Judah and also wrote letters to Ephraim and Manasseh, inviting them to come to the temple of the LORD in Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the LORD, the God of Israel. 2 The king and his officials and the whole assembly in Jerusalem decided to celebrate the Passover in the second month. 3 They had not been able to celebrate it at the regular time because not enough priests had consecrated themselves and the people had not assembled in Jerusalem. 4 The plan seemed right both to the king and to the whole assembly. 5 They decided to send a proclamation throughout Israel, from Beersheba to Dan, calling the people to come to Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the LORD, the God of Israel. It had not been celebrated in large numbers according to what was written.

6 At the king's command, couriers went throughout Israel and Judah with letters from the king and from his officials, which read:
"People of Israel, return to the LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, that he may return to you who are left, who have escaped from the hand of the kings of Assyria. 7 Do not be like your fathers and brothers, who were unfaithful to the LORD, the God of their fathers, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. 8 Do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were; submit to the LORD. Come to the sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the LORD your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. 9 If you return to the LORD, then your brothers and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will come back to this land, for the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him."

10 The couriers went from town to town in Ephraim and Manasseh, as far as Zebulun, but the people scorned and ridiculed them. 11 Nevertheless, some men of Asher, Manasseh and Zebulun humbled themselves and went to Jerusalem. 12 Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the LORD.

13 A very large crowd of people assembled in Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread in the second month. 14 They removed the altars in Jerusalem and cleared away the incense altars and threw them into the Kidron Valley.

15 They slaughtered the Passover lamb on the fourteenth day of the second month. The priests and the Levites were ashamed and consecrated themselves and brought burnt offerings to the temple of the LORD. 16 Then they took up their regular positions as prescribed in the Law of Moses the man of God. The priests sprinkled the blood handed to them by the Levites. 17 Since many in the crowd had not consecrated themselves, the Levites had to kill the Passover lambs for all those who were not ceremonially clean and could not consecrate their lambs to the LORD. 18 Although most of the many people who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun had not purified themselves, yet they ate the Passover, contrary to what was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, "May the LORD, who is good, pardon everyone 19 who sets his heart on seeking God—the LORD, the God of his fathers—even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary." 20 And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.

21 The Israelites who were present in Jerusalem celebrated the Feast of Unleavened Bread for seven days with great rejoicing, while the Levites and priests sang to the LORD every day, accompanied by the LORD's instruments of praise. [a]

22 Hezekiah spoke encouragingly to all the Levites, who showed good understanding of the service of the LORD. For the seven days they ate their assigned portion and offered fellowship offerings [b] and praised the LORD, the God of their fathers.

23 The whole assembly then agreed to celebrate the festival seven more days; so for another seven days they celebrated joyfully. 24 Hezekiah king of Judah provided a thousand bulls and seven thousand sheep and goats for the assembly, and the officials provided them with a thousand bulls and ten thousand sheep and goats. A great number of priests consecrated themselves. 25 The entire assembly of Judah rejoiced, along with the priests and Levites and all who had assembled from Israel, including the aliens who had come from Israel and those who lived in Judah. 26 There was great joy in Jerusalem, for since the days of Solomon son of David king of Israel there had been nothing like this in Jerusalem. 27 The priests and the Levites stood to bless the people, and God heard them, for their prayer reached heaven, his holy dwelling place.

Dreams

I just finished the fourth book in the Chronicles of Narnia. I'm reading them in the order of publication, not chronology. I was told this was the best way to read them. That means I've read: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; and The Silver Chair. Tomorrow I plan on finishing The Horse and His Boy. Monday I should have The Magician's Nephew read. Finally, I plan on reading and hopefully finishing The Last Battle of Tuesday, Christmas Day.


Also, per the title of this post, I have been dreaming a lot ever since I started reading this series. It is quite fantastic to experience, and the dreams are too.


God bless

I could never satisfy you with a good post. I can't even satisfy myself

Deep, way down in the pit of my inner man,
The air is rather dry and barren is the land,
Emptiness has overtaken with its strangling vines,
Stealing sun and water from this heart of mine,
Allies have abandoned and enemies pursue,
To lay waste to what is left then sow seeds untrue,

But that sickness of my heart, poisoning all I know,
Beating me like a wave, smashing to and fro
Hurts, though I know its falsehood. I pray it's gone soon enough
My weakness is so great, its beating has been rough

Oh my insides cry past words, groans so grievous no ear dare hear,
My spirit moans in exile, upon my heart the wounds doth sear.
So dry no tears will fall, for the famine has stolen all,
Hope is here, though faith is small, to the Lord I address my call,
Distress, help, Lord Jesus, come. Have mercy on Your servant.

Relieve me of my suffering which I often cause,
I'm fool to every think to break Your Good and Righteous Laws.
I hate my sin which makes me feel the traitor-traits I bear with skill,
I hate that I dishonorably act, defiant to Your perfect will.

Forgive me God, restore me I pray,
Renew my life this very day.
I've done great and horrid things, bearing all along Your name I always bring.
I've spilt more blood with wrongs I have not stopped,
And all I need is one single drop.
But instead you gave all you had,
Upon a cross, in a tomb, alive again.

I've been so wicked a creature,
Iniquity my foremost feature,
Save me Jesus Christ and set me right in Your way.

to Whom is your allegiance?

Are you a pro-lifer? Do you believe in the sanctity of human life?


wait....


Are you in favor of the death penalty? Don't you believe in the sanctity of human life?


wait....


Can there be righteous wars? Don't you believe in the sanctity of human life?


wait...


Did Jesus ever kill anyone? Was that his mission?


Is it our mission to follow Jesus' example? Should our decisions mimic his own?



Are we to bring life, take life, both, or neither? Which do we practice?

A letter to myself

You hate to read:

How conceited I am when I say "I am strong"

How false my humility is or how pathetic I am when I say "I am weak"

How depressing I am to talk with when I say "life is horrible"

How fake I am when I say "life is grand"

What you already know when I say "Jesus is Lord and He understands what you do not"


Don't worry about me though

(no name)

Death hath seen no foe,
So Great as He,
So Magnificent as any foe could be,
Towers tall, and fords awide,
From His gaze no foe may hide,
Death is like to flee from a foe like He,
For none can withstand His sovereignty,
None can contain His power, his might,
Darkness existeth not in His radiant light.
Fear not you little ones, no match for Death,
For He can save you with His glorious Breath,
The Spirit He gives, none can tame,
But in His people, He will remain contained.
Death now fears the power within,
Lay down your pride and serve under Him.
Then, and only then will He lift you high,
When you realize that He is Who gave you life,
And His righteousness is just as well,
And can banish all foes of His to Hell,
A grace he gave when he created what evil's future found,
That in creating the eternal prison, He ensured its bound.

And so Death is vanquished,
Destroyed by the Son,
All that was made languish,
Hath been undone.

Heat

Middle of the game, swinging axes at the bane,
Siege hammer lifted, the weight is popping my veins,
Trying to stay sane while other players are calling me names,
Showing who's the boss as my guild is laying claim,
That's how we demonstrate the shame,
No need to talk when your skills are made plain,
When no one else can tame,
The disaster that you've packaged
For the player to be slain....


-Gamer...respect the title

:)

After 2+hours of straight shoveling with some added ice-scraping and salting, I became tired. I was also becoming a little bit irritable. Then, on that cloudy, dreary Sunday afternoon, the sun pierced through the gray darkness. My countenance changed, almost as if my anger and bitterness and overall frustration started melting off of my soul. I had a beautiful moment with God.

Crazy is...(Part 3)

Desiring to be noticed isn't so bad...is it?


My last post...it seems a little too pointed toward the selfishness of suicide...

I got a call this morning from a friend....a good friend of his just committed suicide.

That changes things it seems...at least how it needs to be written out...



Some believe that suicide is unforgivable...an automatic ticket to Hell...and that raises a lot of questions, doesn't it?

Crazy is (Part 2)

People will do anything to get noticed...



Sometimes they'll kill...

and

Sometimes they'll kill themselves.





We need God badly.

Crazy is

People will do anything to get noticed. They'll make funny signs and stand on the sidewalk. They'll run by camera crews when news stories are being shot. They'll write books...blogs. People will do anything to get noticed...because they feel invisible.


Why do people feel like their lives go unnoticed?


We live in country, a culture where everything...all information is fed to us through papers, televisions, radios, and the internet. It used to be that everything important was broadcast, was published...but as the "free market" gained steam...well...everything became important to someone, someone with enough money to say that it was important to them, and therefore it ought to be important for everyone.


So people started broadcasting what sold...and a lot sold....a lot still sells...


In fact, so much sells that it seems as if it almost causes more to sell. We call this competition...


Don't worry, this isn't bad economics, this isn't the idea that supply creates demand.........

It's the idea, that profit is available and so suppliers jump into the market. But this is different in that the profit in this case isn't money...it's the intangible fulfillment one seeks their entire life.


Thus, someone sees someone else getting recognized...feeling important, worthwhile, like they matter....purposeful. And they want that too. Then they try to get "noticed," because they feel like they're missing out.


Back to the question...Why do people feel like their lives go unnoticed? Because they notice other people's lives...and they aren't their own.




Is this an unsolvable problem?

Lift your hearts up high,
Lift your hands up too,
To praise the Lord at night,
To give Him the love that's due.

For we've fallen,
We cannot regain our positions
By ourselves
And so He's taken,
That fall and,
Put it upon Himself,
He's died and He's risen,
All of His are forgiven,
And for Him we are living,
He's the Son, Messiah,
Jesus Christ, salvation's provider,

I love my Lord,
Though I hate my flesh,
I need to be restored,
To Your holiness,
Hold me close
Hold me tight,
Don't let me go,
I want to walk the path that's right.
To bring You pleasure,
To bring You thanks,
To lift Your name on high.

winning

It's easy to feel down, you probably know this if you're currently breathing. That's all I have to say.


Like gravity is pushing me,
Pulling me right on down,
Feeling like I'm forever falling,
Away from Your renown,

Breathing like it's killing me,
A job for me to do,
Living through easy struggles,
That I put myself into.



THAT SAID, I HATE IT WHEN I COMPLAIN BECAUSE THAT IS A TACTIC TO KEEP YOU FOCUSED ON HOW "BAD" THINGS ARE. IN FACT, THINGS ARE GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL. AMEN

a Conversation

I think sometimes that I almost turn God's blessings into curses by questioning too much...

He blesses me in so many ways so often...I'll try not to make this sound like a rant of pride about what God has done for me...

He's given me a curiosity for pretty much everything...for life...and He's packaged it with an ability to learn quickly, to work hard, and to have a drive to excel in all of it...and He's made it so I have...

but then it's like...what should I do...I can do so much well...where am I supposed to go with this stuff

To this my friend responds:

FRIEND: what is your calling?

ME: haha

ME: that life arrow thing was awesome, but it only confirmed for me that I have an arrow that points to God, it didn't really help me discern what vehicle I was going to be taking along that path

FRIEND: may i suggest that you don't have a vehicle because you may use multiple ones throughout your life

FRIEND: we' already said that you get something and get excited about it... if God were to tell you what you were going to be doing, i have a hunch that you might take it and run with it, and it would be amazing and God would bless it but when it came time to leave you would fight it and fight it even though you know its right all because you would remember that God told you that that was what you would be doing

ME: lol

ME: I guess that's part of the curiosity thing...I need clarity... :-)

ME: hahaha

FRIEND: yea i see your problem... your curiosity wants to know now, but your personality and bent is why he's saying no im not going to tell u yet

Praise God from Whom all godly friends flow :)

When the heart is stuck in a box

Soul Questions


Complaints...left and right,
Lives full of light, others dark as black night,
Both claim you shining, but only one can see you bright,
Why is it that Your children often fight?
What's happened that the family's split and not knit tight?
For all I ever hear is one of the two,
One feels content, the other striving just to sense You,
Since You are the Giver of all good gifts,
What about those children of Yours who are living without Your benefits?

Some struggle hard, some not so much,
Some question where You are, others feel Your present touch,
Some wonder why it happened, others praise that You're in control,
It's like life is just a question mark, answered in the soul.

Brother on my left is cursing the day,
Hates what he's doing,
Screaming there's gotta be another way.
Crushed on the inside,
Weak on the out,
Doesn't believe he can love the Lord,
Feels like he's drowning in doubt.
With the frown of his mouth,
His health is moving south,
Why don't You help him out...
That's what he's pondering now

Some struggle hard, some not so much,
Some question where You are, others feel Your present touch,
Some wonder why it happened, others praise that You're in control,
It's like life is just a question mark, answered in the soul.

Brother on my right is praising the day,
Loves what he's doing
Believes there couldn't be another way,
Solid in the spirit,
Like a soldier in the flesh,
Walking daily with his God,
Always desiring what's next
Focused on acquiring the heart of God's Text,
Thriving, giving only his best,
Thanking God for being blessed...
His praise is obvious

Some struggle hard, some not so much,
Some question where You are, others feel Your present touch,
Some wonder why it happened, others praise that You're in control,
It's like life is just a question mark, answered in the soul.

Answered in the soul. Answered in the soul.
It's like life is just a question mark, answered in the soul.

Looking for direction, but really I only care to know You're here,
Where is not my question, not feeling is what I fear,
I guess I still try for hearing through the ear
When I should listen for Your Voice when in the Spirit I know You're near.
But why is it so hard, why isn't it definite like the earth,
Upon which I stand when I'm feeling strong and in the fetal position when I'm hurt?
Why do answers seem intangible, elusive like fulfillment,
I don't want to be discontent, I want to breath life like I was meant.
And so I've got my direction, the purpose to drive me forward,
But there's a question my spirit ponders as I wander toward the Lord.
Are you still there?
I don't feel You like I used to.
Are you still there?
No matter what this is the path I choose to,
Follow.

Some struggle hard, some not so much,
Some question where You are, others feel Your present touch,
Some wonder why it happened, others praise that You're in control,
It's like life is just a question mark, answered in the soul.

great song

Daniel Bedingfield - Honest Questions
YouTube - Fanvid Here

Warmup

Sometimes I get sick, mind is getting licked,
Lined with little ticks, time is moving quick,
As I, wondering with my eyes, question all your lies,
Despise what's stored inside,
Traitors can never hide,
And so my heart is pressurized,
And after I heard the lecture I've,
Decided to give up my tithes,
Rhymes that I've conjectured, I'd
Spend on other lives,
Bribe my heart to sigh,
Instead of letting it cry,
Close the wound as tight
As I, can shut the knot on pride,

a bunch of leftovers

I will do nothing, not act at all,
O man I want to run but I'm confined to crawl.
It's so sublime to bawl,
It's like how I feel when I rhyme to yall,
If you made me choose between the two I would have to stall,
Feelings make me feel, like the earth is raw,
When I can't, upon my lip I habitually naw,
Like a lyric is the mode to your mind upon which I fictitiously draw,
Just to take theological issues and submit them to saw,
Split the atom of the issue, ignite the brawl,
Start the fire, jump the couch, set out in a sprawl,
Place your spirit and mind in the lap of the Lord no one ever saw,



rhymes of no essense

I'll bring you more than a song,
For what's a song ever done
To spread the Lord's love,
The Good News of the Son,
As the sun never sweats to set,
So my mind never minds to forget,
All those rhyme of nonsense, no essense
Other rappers bringing words but forgetting to bring lessons,
Like a teacher without a plan, all these nonsense jams,
My intro is the bell to this audio school session.

Let me first define love, for it's a trinity too,
Agape is the Lords', brotherly between me an you,
And then there is erotic, man and and wife confined,
But to be sure God is love, so this Word's divine.
Now that that's done, we can continue what He's begun,
Wondering why we speak about love when we're demonstrating none.
I love this girl, I'm in love with this guy,
Makes me sick to my heart, to the point that I cry,
TO the point that He died, so that we would survive,
Assuming that we believed and our hearts were made right.


I just was tired and bored writing some papers for Finals......I might do more later

Tsunami

A wave of the Spirit's movement, of immeasurable size, is headed our way.


Spirit of the Lord, wash over my soul,
Let me taste your grace upon the tongue with which I extol
Your glory,
Tell me again of Your magnificence,
Veiled within HiStory.
Good News forever, though no longer heeded,
Rip apart my reality because my spirit needs it.

Take me back to sustenance,
Remove me to the One
Basic need of my existence,
Father, Spirit, Son.

Give me life through Your power breath,
Fill my center with Your wind,
Remove from me what once brought death,
Take from me my sin.

Forgive me for such rebelliousness,
Iniquity plagues my mind,
Replace in me Your holiness,
You, Spirit, dwelling in my finite-self, divine.


O what a gift,
Such title does not give Honor,
For you renewed an eternal rift,
And redeemed me into Your Son's alma mater.





Comment please if you think my theology is totally messed up...........sometimes when I'm reviewing my work I don't catch ever mistake.

Waaaa!!!

I'm in a tired, need sleep, otherwise I'll be a little ornery, mood

Reading day

Today is the official College Reading Day. This day is always on the Wednesday before final exams begin (Thursday). Why do they call this day reading day? Perhaps it has to do with the enormous amounts of reading Hillsdale Students are given, an amount which only the most diligent will ever accomplish reading on time for each class. Personally my classes amounted to the following amounts of reading this semester:

Micro Economics: 350 pages (extra large, glossy text book), 50 pages (average sized)
American Foreign Policy: 1800 pages (780pg textbook) (over 1000 pages handouts)
Gnostics, Pagans, Heretics: Uncertain (at least 1500, bare minimum)
Fiction and Faith: 500 pages (novels, short stories, anthologies...)
History of Economic Thought I: 600 pages (Primary Source Text and Interpretive Text)

Side reading (my fault :)) Bible - 500 pages;

Total: 5,500 pages, That's 80pages/day, M-F. And these pages are not harboring wimpy reading. These are, most of the time, primary source documents. That means we're reading the actual "stuff" instead of what John Doe thinks about the "stuff," even though John Doe was never there.

Now most students here don't "just" read. They also have to write papers, work on projects, be involved in at least 2 extra-curricular activities, eat, and sleep.

This is why students here are so busy and stressed-out almost 100% of the time, however, they only realize it during finals week.

So give someone an encouraging word today; pray with them. We all need it.

Maybe today shouldn't be called the Reading Day. Maybe it should be called the Sleeping: getting enough rest before Finals steal it all, Day. If they really wanted to give students enough time to catch-up in their studies in order to do exceedingly well on their Finals, they would give us at least a week. Nevertheless, one Day gives us hope.


God bless.

Reminder

Be sure to take your vitamins daily :)

Today's awesome readings are Psalm 119-121, Proverbs 4, and whole lot of 2nd Chronicles starting with Chapter 8 and moving ahead.

I feel like rain

teach me about faith through fiction

So I've been rejected say....5 times for this one thing regarding poetry.....and today I saw what was given the spot for that which I was rejected....and I was a little disappointed...usually am....that's just the way that things work I guess...usually see things in a different light...kinda like the Jews with Jesus....kinda like everyone with Jesus...we usually see things the way we want to see them, not the way that they are...but, have hope, because it's not impossible to see them in the pure light.


And so, once again, I was mistaken,
In thinking I would win,
Hopes dashed in the end,
When I couldn't catch the dream I was chasing,
Now, it's time for the anger I'm facing,
To arise.
Fire flames in my eyes,
My heart condemns it all lies,
Why?
I.
Pride.

I hate the loss, and sometimes even victory is bland,
Give me a battle in which I turn and toss,
When it is finished I'll be more of a man,
More than a man, because I did more than I can,
It was all me, nothing more, never less, understand?

It's all armor,
It's my failure proof jacket,
Crying in my soul, I lack the fulfillment I feel I require.

It's all armor,
It's my failure proof jacket,
Actually, I just want to be acknowledged because God made me special too....



So really, pride is just a reflex of our scared little self, seeing the big world in which he feels his voice is being squelched.

Only done for some attention, that is why I strive. I just want someone to impress, to be excited about my life.

Screaming, don't you see me, I'm here, I exist as well. Tell me that you love me, because alone I feel like hell.


Doesn't that ^ seem to reveal more of the realness to the situation...raising our consciousness of the matter....well my friends, that's what fiction and faith are all about.

writing a paper

I'm writing a paper now. Its title is

Faith, Fidelity, and Fornication: Examining matters of faith through the sexual relationships found in the biblical account of David and Bathsheba, John Updike’s “Lifeguard,” and Goethe’s “Faust”

The heart must worship.

Rough

Born to pen lyric,
Born to praise Spirit,
Singing out of my soul so that only God could hear it
I was born to enjoy creation, never fear it,

Since when has it been given to men,
To put a price on the gift that paid the cost of sin,
Put fifteen dollars in his pocket so you can listen to hymns,
Is it the same as 30 pieces so he can rock his rims?
I heard about how Paul lived through worse only wearing his skin,
Why do we have necessities now, when they didn’t seem to exist then?
It’s not how it’s always been,
Increasing demand raises our profit margin,
Take advantage of your kin, you’re just as wicked as them,
Justify it now with how your being a blessing.

Be a real blessing, live sacrificially,
Not superficially, so that you can live deliciously,
Decadent needs, you don’t need such greed,
Glutton for sin, so that Christ has more to bleed,
Like the average reed, swaying amongst the iniquity we breed,
Packaging the Gospel so that we now take the lead,
See the star on the stage, his gospel is your creed,

OH God cut us to the root, bring us back to Your seed.

Proverbs 16:18-20

Carefully carry along, be careful not to be too head strong,
Pride will trip you before long,
Destroy you as you sing its song,
Banded in conflict with the others of that throng,
For it's better to admit your wrong,
Than continue with such iron on,
Instead humble yourself, admit you've been conned,
Rather than share the spoil of wicked spawn,
Finding faith in self, when all you are is pawn,
Those who heed the Word and trust the Lord, they will see the good at Dawn.

Comments post

Place comments and requests here :)

Requests could be: topics I need to write one, poems I need to write regarding certain issues, what biblical events I ought rap about in the upcoming future, etc....

God bless

Proverbs 3:5-7

Yo,
Woe to the holy man, wholly man,
Watch out where you're going man,
Lean not on what you understand,
Acknowledge Him and He'll direct your plans,
Be not wise in your own eyes,
Don't let yourself be caught in a rooftop scan,
All of a sudden recognize your heart's been scammed.
Lifestyle living in the barren land,
Trying to bear fruit with your roots in sand,
You can't be salt when your taste is bland,
Do you really follow the man with whose mark you've been branded?

NOT named

L-E-D red, telling me it's time for bed,
But I can't quit yet, I have to finish this thread,
Winding down to the end of my pen and the ink that it's bled,
Another paper, another test to shed,
Give me a few moments to get under my head.....
....
....
....
The day is over now, another one has begun,
The day is just starting and I'm not having fun,
Who ever promised me tomorrow, it's just an extension of today,
No start no finish, it's all running together this way,
There hasn't been an end, there's only been a beginning,
All we do is sleep, wakeup, and restart counting...
....
....
....


more to come

one line, two lines

"How could God fold in to the fabric of cold skin?"

-Sintax the Terrific




Praying about upcoming pathways to choose between (or follow depending on how you view it)...ask God to help me if you would.

Are you ready?

I'm having one of those, "God is so awesome, and He's about to move in an amazing way" moments.

Prepare yourselves brothers and sisters. God bless.

a new one

Here's the article

This guy says his writing is about "killing God," and that "it's much more subversive" when compared to something like Harry Potter.

I recently read Donald T. Williams article on Harry Potter. He thinks there is a much greater parallel between the Potter series and Christianity than most will give it credit for...although much less obvious than C.S. Lewis Narnia series.


What do you think? I think Philip Sidney had good things to say about fiction and it's importance in teaching....teaching good things....Christ's things....He taught with stories too....


I recommend reading Sidney's "Defense of Poesy"...

The 2nd half

Poem: 2nd half


Once there was a man whose wrists ran dry,
Gravity was the foe of this man's blood supply.
He was wondering why,
To His Maker/Father, He began to cry,
Dying on a tree, born in a sty?
I am, the kings' King, who never tested lie...
Six to nine inches of the world stabbing at His Spirit,
O Israel, Listen to this rebuke, you need to hear it.

Finally finished

I stood in line at BestBuy from Thursday afternoon (12:30pm) until this morning, less that 20 min. ago. Effectively, I stood in line for over 14 hours alongside my brother. We were 2nd and 3rd in line, and boy, did some incredible characters show up. I was interviewed by local television networks twice. Every item I intended to purchase I did - no extras either.

So people ask...is it worth it? Was it worth spending all of Thanksgiving day in line, in the cold, without family, without relaxation?

Here's my systematic response:

1) We're having Thanksgiving today instead - had this planned in advance before we decided to even go to the store. Thus, as soon as I finish this post, I'm going to bed for awhile.

2) I was able to purchase items I would have purchased anyway with savings easily over $200.

3) I was with my brother the entire time.

4) I met a lot of crazy people.

5) I was able to read for awhile...and I ate some good McDonald's ;)

6) I'd done it 2 times in previous years, and so it wasn't something I didn't know how to do already.

7) I felt like it :)

8) My brother dragged (drug?) me along.



Hope that answers you questions. If you have any that weren't answered, be sure to drop a comment and check back periodically. I'll have answered with a comment or post within a day or so.

Peace

I'm on Thanksgiving break...at home :)

I haven't since Saturday/Sunday....but I do have a post coming up, a follow-up poem to one a week or so back....I'll have it up tomorrow or something...we'll see

Until then...ciao

The Master and the Pupil - TKD Tournament

The tournament was Saturday. It was a blast.

Currently I'm contemplating a plan that goes back a year....more prayer is needed....also for what the Lord has planned for me this coming winter and summer...if I'm still here, for "Do not boast about tomorrow, for who knows what a day may bring forth."

I'll put up some pictures or something. :)

AHHHHH!

Are personal unspoken requests prayers soaked in pride. (This is assuming most personal unspoken prayer requests deal with personal sins and shame)

Why you ask?
What else would hold you back from asking for prayer without being willing to be vulnerable...other than self-image...pride...what others might think....

What kind of Body are we if we can't trust one another?

Can we really claim to love one another if we don't allow each other the security of understanding that they are safe to share their most vulnerable parts with us...

COME ON!!!!!!!! Why are we hiding from each other? None of us is perfect, why do we seem to think we should be viewed as more righteous than others??!?!?!

OHHH MAN I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think about Isaiah and what he says when he sees God....I am undone....he's basically saying...I'm exploded....all of us are.....our goods are junk....the wage for such pride in our junk is death

If all is known by God...and we'll be like Christ when we partake in "that Day," then when praying, "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven," isn't that also a call to lives of Truth...with nothing to hide...no secrecy? A body that does not act harmoniously (uncommunicative, not trusting ) is a body that doesn't get anywhere...it's uncoordinated...can't move...clumsy...lame....it needs to be healed...it needs what is commanded in James 5...."16Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." The theme here is repentance and confession...it's a healing process...and it restores health...vitality...the movement of Blood throughout the Body...that cleansing flow...the life force of the Body. Jesus Christ our Lord and His atoning blood.

In all of this I'm not saying we shouldn't be uncaring about people's sensitivity...and love them, because we should want to love them and have to love then despite how vulnerable and open they are....regardless....BUT IF WE DESIRE TO BE CLOSER TO WHAT HE IS LIKE, then we have to act in accordance...thus our lives should be open for scrutiny (and they are whether we want them to be or not).....Psalm 17:3 "Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress".....

unfinished

Pencils and pills, strewn across desk,
Mind in the ethereal, nervous system reaching the crest,
What's next,
Give it a greater thrill, a higher height, can't stand less,
It's all there is to live for, I need to pass my next test,
Life seems but a struggle to meet my deadlines,
But if I'm not careful I'll be lying in dead lines,
Outlined in chalk, check the red eyes,
Full of the potential, never to be realized,
Because real lies, got the better of this life,
Bright as can be crust, filling dark as night,
Rejection and dejection, loneliness and depression .
How can one stop, that's not even the best question.

As the pain trickles down the drain,
Lying, looking slain, open exposed veins,
Wet, sloppy mane, neck, kinda craned,
Limp and lame, body, but where's the brain,
The whole room sits ashamed,
Looking upon the thing,
Who's got hope to bring,
To which,
This one obviously couldn't cling

In the still, stale air, death is lurking everywhere,
In the vibrant, electric life, be careful, it's still there


Open your eyes my friends...Be vigilant...the enemy is like a roaring lion, seeking to devour you.

question

Rule-breakers test my patience....test my mercy....



Who said that....me...God....both?



Does that make me a hypocrite? Or does it make me more like God?

What’s there to say. How am I to react,

When a friend, so called friend stabs you right in the back,

Not looking for trouble, not a hypochondriac,

But now I’m kinda jaded, wondering if they deserve any slack,

And of course they don’t, but inside my heart’s choked,

Trying to swallow my pain, acting like I’m able to cope,

But to be honest, I feel like I haven’t got any hope,

Like my enemy and best friend ran away and eloped.

Sick inside my soul, I’m losing control

On the world that I’m tugging, I’m losing my hold,

Deep inside my being, yeah, I know there’s a hole,

And I just want to feel complete, I want to be full

Ask my why I turned, I would tell you “twas God”

If you asked why I’m special, I’d probably say that I’m not,

You made me think you agreed when you gave me the nod,

But now I know you’re a phony, from the ground that you trod.

I feel in my heart where you left your footprints in the sod,

Wore my love for awhile, my blood red ephod,

Until you decided it would be a prisoner’s garb you would shod.

My heart that you would rob, my flesh that you would flog,

But now I’m kinda jaded, surrounded by fog

My spirit’s weak, and my will is coughing,

Luckily I’m still alive and I’m not in a coffin,

Every day I survive, it’s another day that I’m robbing,

Every day I survive, it’s another day sobbing.

Bless the Lord O my soul, is such a difficult command,

How can I give from my spirit, when I have trouble giving by hand?

How can I give when all I got is a sham,

From my spirit you pour forth love, but my heart is its dam

The E-mail

Hey guys,

The following is a summary of what took place this past Thursday (Nov. 8) at noon in the chapel outside of Saga...

At 12:05p.m. a few moments were taken to meditate on the gravity of what we were doing, or supposed to be doing...praying. Is prayer powerful? If so, are we, in any way limiting its power...His power to work through it. Are we limiting the relationship we have with God by not engaging in prayer in the MOST profitable way for our spirits? Are we praying in a way that pleases God? After engaging these questions in silence, the proposition was made to do the following:

1) Take a period of time to pray individually, asking God "What do You desire for us to pray for, to ask for, Lord?"

2) Write down all that you believe the Spirit is prompting (let no hesitancy keep you from writing everything...don't worry about "it might just be my own thoughts..."

3) We regrouped after the period of listening to God's answer (understanding that we prayed ahead of time regarding that our intention was not to place God in a timeframe within which He had to answer).

4) All the individual prayer-covered sheets of paper were collected.

5) Paul Mueller and I (David Stehlik) went through the sheets, isolating all of the prayers which were unified throughout the group; that is, we looked for prayers that were similar and began recording them and expanding upon them as different sheets added specific related requests.

6) We were challenged to spend time actually praying these prayers inside and outside of noon-day prayer...

Following is the list of prayers.

Remember, the purpose of this prayer list is that we would be stronger in prayer...that we could hear more clearly...being more in tune with the Spirit, and therefore more exhibitive of Christ and His victory...the challenge is not to pray everything you can for as long as you can...it's about having hearts of intercessors...being people who actually care, and therefore, being people engaged in prayer

Try to select one or two of these and pray in unison throughout this week...also, ask God to increase the clarity of the prayer He desires us to pray...WRITE IT DOWN and bring it to noon-day prayer on Thursday as we can praise God for His faithfulness.

That there would be an intense unity of ALL believers on campus...not just "HCF" Christians...that He would move us to encourage by the Spirit rather than by our minds (not what we think, but what He knows)...that our perspective would be a Kingdom perspective (often we can become focused on our ministries and not God's ministry, losing sight of those to whom we are privileged to minister - which includes other ministers)...that our families would be unified in Christ

That we would make ourselves humble...that we would act with authentic selflessness (not hypocrites speaking God from our lips but far from Him with our hearts...being willing to submit to Him (not begrudgingly but desirously)...that we would be deliver ourselves up to be broken (REBUKE US!), that we might be rebuilt....story of rebuilding Jerusalem...

That we would seek direction with greater vigor...that we would care where we are and where we're supposed to be headed (Discovering God's will for us as individuals is what we often prayer, but we also desire to know where we are to head as His body)

That we would persevere in the faith and not lose heart or become hardened and cynical, that we would not "cling to worthless idols and forfeit the grace that could be ours"--->getting serious about our faith, and His faith in us--->being disciplined (spiritual disciplines not to become more holy but to maintain the holiness He's imparted to us)---->that we would take a break to reflect and meditate on God....Pause

That God would develop in us an incredible fear for Him and deliver unto us great understanding to handle all situations in a manner worthy of one who bears His name...that we might develop Wisdom by His Spirit providing for us in this manner

Leaders...that we first recognize that God is the Leader...and all His followers are servants...and that we pray for those servants--à who can only be effective if empowered by the Spirit.

Note: What preceded was by no means suggesting that petition is the only way can and ought to engage in prayer (see Phil. 4), but it was emphasized because the purpose of this "exercise" was and is to recognize that our knowledge is severely limited, and He has the answers, desiring for us to be in harmony with His will.

Faithful

He said we're heirs to royalty,
Now, we're royally clothed in His loyalty.

new links

I added some links to blogs that you might like to check out

Memory

I'm memorizing Psalm 103 right now...feel free to join me.

How did God decide to create the memory? If the world wasn't fallen, would our memories be perfect? Are some people better images of God because they can remember more and remember more clearly? Are photographic memories what we're all supposed to have?

What made God so solidly connect smell to memory? What hidden mystery is there here?

The idea of our prayers and offerings and lives in general being pleasing aroma's to the Lord...does this have any significance here?

Poison

I get apathetic, living like I'm an atheist,
Why don't I care about what's in store, instead living like a whore.
Why do I adulterize my life, against my God I sin, in spite
Of what I know is true, that actions paid, mean consequences due

Now, I can only trust in Him, to deliver me from Himself...
It's hard to imagine a God who loves, a God I call my Help.
He's given blood and spirit to ensure that I will live,
He's taken my adulteries upon His unblemished Head.

Please tell me about creation.
How'd you manifest contemplation?
What's the essence of elation?
How'd you texturize sensation?
How'd you choose on copulation?
Why'd you allow in frustration?
All from one source, with zero distillation.

Please tell me about Yourself so that I can know me too,
If I'm just the image, then an imagined sense won't do.
I need the facts ineffable, I need the tried and true,
I need to feed this hunger for reality, that's You.

You speak me into existence and sustain me by Your Word,
If ever Your name doesn't leave my lips, that's my last breath you heard.



Glory is substance, that residue of God,
He leaves when we're following, to know where He has trod.

D-Troit

I went on a short outreach "missions-trip" to East Detroit this past Friday and Saturday. We held an over-nighter at Charity Lutheran Church for some local youth. We played games, ate lots of food, had a time of worship, shared the Gospel through a bit of my testimony, watched movies, and took time just to talk. It was awesome. In the process my good friend's car was stolen out of the church's parking lot. If you would pray for him, that would be awesome. He's had the most incredibly edifying attitude through the whole ordeal. He doesn't even let the incident phase him. He told me, "it's just a thing." May God abundantly bless his spirit.

In the midst of this cloud surrounding,
There's so much of God's love around me.
His people are like love bombs exploding, Loudly

mmm hmmm

Sucked into complacency,
My latency isn't what it used to be,
I'm not used to living truths so abandonedly,
God's the content of the song, and the band I be,
It's not randomly reprimanding me,
I asked that a half-hearted spirit would abandon me,
I wanted the Spirit to have command of me,
Vicious conviction to lay waste so He would have His brand on me,
Just a single sheep in the flock of Thee,
May we all conform to the likeness of the Shepherd we see.

late musings

Sick of this nonsense, heaven's enemy's offense,

When the Wind blows
Hell freezes,
When God shows,
He does what he pleases,
He sees us In Jesus,
In us, He sees Jesus,
Sin can't works it's diseases
When the Spirit comes, they must leave us,
Why don't you believe us?
Are you deaf and mute to our thesis?
Don't reject, but receive us.

Looking in the mirror, a poor reflection of who I am,
Just an image of my person, but not even the surface of my jam,

My life's symphony only played for Thee,
May my body reflect that glory, given wholly holy to You

invisible tanks

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=490669&in_page_id=1811

Sweet!

not wise - 200

Posting right now is probably not the wisest use of my time, but I am compelled. I apologize to no one who believes this is not worthy of post #200. For me, it's been put off for too long. Prepare yourselves.

I give you...post #200



It was written that nothing new is under the sun,
I'm sitting in a prayer meeting just hoping for one,
A new prayer, a new revelation,
Because lifelessness and prayer is an evil association.
I want to feel the life, I want it to the full,
But at the moment my Sword is feeling kind of dull,
I open the pages where the words bounce off my skull,
I don't think they're entering my heart because I feel dry within my soul.
I want the Seeds of life that the birds of the air probably stole.
I want the passing of the night, open up and meditate upon the scroll.
Bandage up the whole, make my past null,
Void all that is useless, wake me from the lull.

Bless my closest companion, Spirit who won't abandon,
Bless those You've given me in flesh, my friends who in quietness
Encourage me in the spirit, speaking Truth so I can hear it,
Bringing it to me because I can't get near it,
The wrath of God, I fear it.
The laugh of God I crave it,
The bath by God I claim it,
In the joy of God I'm strengthened.
In righteousness my days are lengthened.
Praise the Lord our God, Amen.


Bless He Who blessed us first,
Bless He Who took our curse,
Bless He Who drove Death's hearse,
Bless He in Whose blood I've been immersed.

Holy is He, The Righteous God-man.
Amazing beyond all.
Nothing could compare with the Father's plan,
He knew only He could redeem us from the Fall.

One post away

My next post is #200. I'm not sure I have the material ready for such an event. Thus, I'm not sure how long it will take for me to prepare my 200th post...meaning that it might be awhile before I post again. Either that or I'll delete another post instead to keep the count below 200...just kidding. I'll keep posting as often as I'm able.

School is kicking into high gear as the semester is nearing the three-quarters mark. I have 4 papers due, 10 quizzes (rough estimate) and 7 tests before it's all said and done.



light poem

The light's speed is readily achieved,
Enters through the entrance when my heart believes,
Doubt falling away light Autumn's leaves,
Conquering my fears like the Lord's Sword leaving it's sheath.
My lungs heavily heave,
Intake the breath all men breathe,
Cast away the death that the Truth makes leave,
The blind shall see,
All slaves set free,
Who can do such, Who can this be?

Fall Break

More like "gall" break. Hahah, just kidding. I'm on break until Monday. God bless you all, be strong and rejoice in the Lord.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!
AMEN!

Eclipsed by the Son's glory, shining all around,
The beach is packed today, the sun's heat is beating down,
The Spirit moves where He pleases, here and there even now,
People moving to and fro, children playing loud,

more to come...

Morning thoughts

Pride, the deadly beast, claws its way to my heart,
Plants its root deep, then shoots the poison dart,
I lay friends and enemies wasted, been this way from the start,
Having others lay down their lives for me, pride's vicious art
I've played my part, I've drunk the wine of wickedness,
Tasted the seeds of this viciousness,
In the beginning it had a sense of deliciousness.

O what leads us astray...

Spitting static like you couldn't understand it,
Stealing so many glances, you'd think I was a bandit,
So hard to label me you'd think that I would brand it,
Unemployed, had an interview, but I just couldn't land it,
Amazed by so much insincerity, I just can't stand it,
Give me a gaze of clarity, then I'll speak more candid


Until then, just give me a pen,
Lay down a beat for my rhyme to abide within,
Because we're not riding with them,
We're going alone,
Alone is the only home that I've ever known,
And rhyme is most the seed that I've ever sown,
The Word is the only soil in which I've ever grown,
Life as it is will soon be gone.

Lately

A lot of crazy things have been going down lately...

Anyway though,

Mind strugglin' to catch the concept,
Still trying to calculate the convex,
Answered incorrectly, didn't supplement with context,
Running on wet tile, incurs broken necks.
Who's next, separate families into sects,
Watch the movie 50 times but never read the text,
Spend it all with credit, accumulate the debt,
Can't pay the companies when they come to collect,

I thought we were elect?
You wouldn't be if rationale were to select,
But seriously

Where's the intelligence and wisdom in our decision-making?

I just want you to feel, that these words that I speak are real,
Maybe I'm not so authentic, but that doesn't negate that my minds in it,
That my rhymes hit it, that the time is getting
To be the end of all times, to be the final bells and chimes,
When all men learn if they have spines,
See if they've committed crimes,
of the heart...

Feelings?

Sometimes, like today, I feel compelled like the attraction between two giant magnets to just sing intense praise to God and worship Him with abandonment. The problem I face, however, is an inability of sorts to exercise this love. I feel like my soul is "stopped-up." It's like the love and joy is kept from flowing. In me this produces almost a complaining Psalmist effect. I can't praise and so I end up questioning or complaining or petitioning (to make it seem better). This could be just an attitude rather than a mode of my heart or a season of my spirit (though it might be that also as I've been having this routinely during the past 4-5 weeks).

I also love to write...as maybe you can tell (or maybe not). I especially enjoy writing songs and poems. While freestyle rap-rhythmic tendencies pervade what I write in regard to style, my spirit's longing is for whatever I write to be: 1) pleasing to the Lord in content and truth of my own attitude toward Him - if positive and 2) beneficial for outside readers growth in the Spirit and Truth...

That's what I want.
That's what I need to work toward...and you know I can't do it alone.

Correction....more of the Word needs to be in me

I need to be in the Word more.

Lots against

None was worthy by your pen,
Sent back once you’d stole of them,
Sent back once you’d extracted the soul of them,

Vengeance never was my skill,
But be assured, you’ll foot the bill
Of the pain you’ve cost me until
The end of times has been fulfilled,

what?

Rap happens when my mind spills.
The poem emerges when the divine stills
My soul.

Wisdom's attained when my mind's tilled,
Love converges when God ensures my heart is filled
Full.

Unity occurs when the Body is built,
Harmony is had when the self has killed
Its goal,

I sit still in wait for the strength until,
His joy erupts and my spirit's thrilled
To extol

My coming King so adept in skill,
The only one who could ever fulfill
God's role.

Stewarding

I'm up, it's really 5:00am and I'm finishing up a paper....sweetness

I feel great, and I was praying for such. God is faithful in small things like this....sometimes though, it's easy to be ashamed for thanking God for such things as this...it's like a reflection on how small my faith can be....why am I praying for little selfish stuff like this...you know...shouldn't I be praying about His Return...or the comfort for my suffering brethren...man I need to grow up...not that these prayers were bad...they just were tiny...employed little faith...

God bless you, and may we be better stewards with this intensely rich gift of prayer we've been given.

Tired

Eyes ablaze, there,
Like a furnace on my face, where
Assurance is a pace,
Sometimes too fact to chase,
My mind loses the taste,
To continue on chaste,
Lose all that I'd gained,
Now consumed in self-hate

And I, slip along the path,
Fall awaiting His wrath,
Caught by grace, leaning on His Staff,
I can only laugh,
How I deserve to be like the chaff,
And yet I've been dipped in Salve,
Dead and Restored in the Holy bath,
No longer only a human-half,
Into the Vine I was graft,
The King whose made life his craft,
He's the only hope I have.

Praise the King, Lord God of Israel and all of Heaven's Armies.

face

I can be,
Half the time waster,
Never on time, later,
Tell you you're mine, traitor,
Statement of faith, hater,

Walk the hall faster,
Tell you you're wrong, pastor,
Selfish vision-caster,
Pion pretending he's master,
All your hopes slasher,
Emotional stock crasher,

Think you're brash, I'm brasher,
Think you're rash, I'm rasher,

Fragile like plaster,
Dashed in an instant


Never underestimate the power to be understood and misunderstood...understand?

Sintax the Terrific - Make Believe Lyrics

CHORUS -

"You make me believe it’s not make believe
fill in all the gaps that I can’t conceive
break a skeptic down to his basic need
to put a finger in the wrist where salvation bleeds
You make me believe it’s not make believe
I’m breath-taken by your sacred mysteries
God take me to the root of that ancient tree
where knowledge is the fruit that only faith can see"

Watching "Breathe" tonight

Even if you say that you don't believe,
I can hear the Truth from you as your lungs heave,
Because no matter the lies that your mind conceives
Everyone says the name of God when they breathe.

Who defies the law,
Who defined them all?
Who was given the gall?
Then who gave the call?

Since man's first fall,
It's been a universal brawl.

As you walk, crushing the dust of the earth underfoot,
Trust theodicy to never be understood.

A moment of strength...found in weakness

I am so very much in need of Truth...Sometimes I alert myself by the great deal of problems I have by questioning Scripture so much...just today I started getting really worked up on some ideas about prayer...It's too easy to misconstrue Scripture....what do I believe right now that is a lie????

How could I even find out unless someone let me know? I wouldn't know otherwise, because I would believe it's the truth...and it's not...how scary is it to think that you might be very heretical and not even know it...


But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. - John 16:13

fear-less

Imagine a world without fear,
A world uninhibited
That contributed
To happiness unlimited.
Find me its derivative,
Show me the goods it has distributed,
All the bad it didn't do,
All the sin it didn't accrue,
All the deceit it didn't brew,
A world filled with You.

Life

Sometimes I'm crying inside of my head,
Pretending past feelings are dead,
And so I'm lying to myself instead
Of dealing with the issue I dread.

Oh how I miss you, I said,
I can't live without you, my Bread,
I can't stand the pain without you, my med.,
I crave the light that you shed,
I wouldn't follow when you led,
When you looked I fled,
When you judged I plead,
When I turned you bled,

Now my heart is torn to shreds,
My life is broken strands of thread,
Oh shattered dreams I tread,
Ripped at the seams, o the nets I spread,
What does this mean? Then I read
That you are faithful to death.

How can you return the breath,
That which I breathed out, You kept?
Such a fool was I then, but in You now I'm left
Standing on the Rock which with life is deft,
The same man who created Eve when Adam was cleft,
When He of my love was bereft,
He gave me more hope and love than I had before the theft
Of my joy.

Once I was a broken toy, but now I'm healed, a real boy....

When I am afraid I will trust in the Lord

Sometimes I stumble,
Thinking how can this be true
As my illusions crumble,
I need something new.

What is there to believe in?
What is there to trust?
Where is there to go when,
Everyone is lost?

I can't even fathom,
The wonder of your name,
I want to cross this chasm,
But that is why you came.

Who is there to believe in?
Who is there to trust?
Where is there to go when,
There's so high a cost?

You are so amazing,
I bow my head in awe,
Your the one who stays me,
When in my love I fall.

I'm thankful I can believe in,
I'm thankful I can trust,
I'm thankful I can go to,
The feet nailed upon the cross.

m

I'm struggling to apprehend,
The Truth and the purity within.
Scripture directs me to Him,
Refinement through theological doctrine.
But I'm still human,
My mind is still brewing,
Desiring to swallow
The knowledge that it's chewing
To what is this alluding?
Other forces are colluding,
Confusion is ensuing,
While I'm praying for renewing.

Purify my understanding, grant me wisdom and truth,
Have I been wrong all along, have I even known You?
I can get so startled when I find out that I've courted
Incorrect understanding from other than Lord, it
Hurts me to think, that I've stepped away.
I hate to contemplate that and that I could die today...

I could die afraid,
I could die wondering if I was saved.
I could die in fear
That I missed even one opportunity for me to get nearer,

Or I could live with joy.

Picture - Fasting (part 1)

Fasting is a picture...it's a reminder...it's a lens through which we can see the spiritual situation at hand...what do I mean by this?

Fasting entails abstinence of some sort...a removing...in the Biblical sense it is often spoken of in conjunction with abstaining from food or drink and even sleep (in the case of Paul). Though, what's the purpose of fasting? Why would one abstain from things like food, drink, and/or sleep? First, this abstinence is usually for only a distinctly established period of time. From the Bible we see such lengths of times ranging from one day to forty days. The purpose for this fasting is generally for to what King David refers to as "humbling oneself."

Therefore, fasting is a way in which we can humble ourselves. But why ought we do that? John the Baptist said about Christ, "He must increase, but I must decrease." Jesus said, "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." Thus it seems as though humbling has something to do with following Christ in changing into or being a certain way that we might follow Christ into exaltation...

What is the picture behind all of this though...the deeper spiritual picture that the physical act displays...?

Water and Drink
When the body does not receive liquids it becomes hard for it to move. An intense thirst builds within because water is so vital to the body's processes. Liquids keep the body well-lubricated that it can operate smoothly. Liquids operate the transfer of nutrients in cells, making sure that ingested items are digested and then quickly dispersed throughout the body to enable operative processes which keep you thinking, seeing, walking, listening, tasting, alive...etc... The body, therefore, has an immense craving for liquids, and the thirst with which the body reacts is in proportion to its actual need. THIS PHYSICAL DISPLAY IS SIMULTANEOUSLY A SPIRITUAL TRUTH DEMONSTRATING OUR NEED FOR LIVING WATER. When the living water which refreshes our spirit is not consistently poured into us...we thirst...and if we don't satisfy that thirst...we become spiritually dehydrated...and when that occurs, we become immobile in the faith and ineffective as Christians because our spiritual body is incapable of operating the way God intended. Our hearts are well-springs of life...they are gardens...and they need watering (to reveal another picture which we may tackle later)....without watering the plants wilt and die and are unappealing, and they are like chaff before the wind...Drink deeply in the Spirit of Truth...drink deeply the blood which is poured out for you...


-Next "Food"

HUMAN / Humility - Rest

Sometimes I can't let the Lord lead me in making a good decision without thinking about the praise I received for it afterwards. Today was the 27th, and Proverbs 27:21 is "Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a man is tested by being praised." I've spoken here about this verse before, but it came to heart once again today after the Lord blessed me with a creative idea for noon-day prayer. It wasn't cutting-edge or anything, but it felt Spirit-led. Normally people don't cry when I organize the prayer...but today God drew some people to tears it seems. Not that crying is a symbol of spiritual effectiveness...it's not...In fact, holy people don't cry anymore than unholy people (by this I am comparing Christ followers and non Christ followers - Colossians 1...holy and blameless...). To be honest, I think that Christ followers can sometimes end up crying and mourning a whole lot less because they are expending themselves emotionally on others on a continual basis. When one doesn't take the adequate time to recharge and becomes emotionally drained, they often are too sympathetically spent to cry. So many believers have lives beyond understanding in terms of the immense difficulties which they face, but they can't cry/mourn/grieve for themselves because they aren't self-focused. This is good, most of the time, but it is not always good. When one is never focused on their own welfare...spiritual state...they can often because delusional as to their mortality...that is, they don't recognize the fact that their finite, human, and vulnerable. This is why we are a Body together and not alone. This is why Christ is the head and we are not. Another factor relating to this is that as believers, we can often not take enough time to reflect on our relationship with our Lord in the midst of the world in which He's placed us. We ought to. If we don't, it's hard to be given a "burden" for the lost. If you aren't people oriented because of Christ and then people...then you don't understand the great commission. It's first about loving God through obedience to His command and then out of love for him, loving others through such a mission. This can be distorted, however, when we consider the mission to be about, first, loving God, and then "getting the job done." When people are no longer the focus, and the commission becomes a job...it's no longer a burden of love which compels us.

Anyway, this all came about because someone was teary-eyed while they were engaging in prayer today...and then later on, another of the brethren thanked me for the noon-day prayer...this is all coming on the tail-end of a dream I had last night in which I was praised by a friend to a friend...Please pray for me as I am seeking God's teaching through these events. May they be specific prayers to which the Lord illumines your spirit, and not the vagaries which hinder us from being able to see His responses clearly.

God bless,

("Pictures" coming soon)

Morning

So I had this crazy dream last night...I'd rather not give the specifics, but in it, somehow I came across information that a friend of mine had praised me highly to another friend of mine. Now both of these people I deeply respect....and guess what a theme of prayer has been for my Wednesday night small group in the Suites? Selflessness...humility...

I don't want to look into this completely negatively, because it also speaks to some positive truths, like humble yourself and you will be exalted, or don't sit in the places of honor but sit in the lower places that you might be called up to greater honor....but it also speaks to Proverbs 27:21, "Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a person is tested by being praised."

We often think - or at least I do - that our tests are times of struggle, when we have to lean on God for sustenance. But, perhaps the test starts when we don't have to....


Anyway...I'm serious about the picture series starting up soon. Maybe tomorrow

I'm going to a synagogue tomorrow (it's the first day of THE FEAST OF TABERNACLES).

BUSY!!!!!!!

I'm extremely busy right now...2 papers due soon, 2 on-going papers...1-2 test coming up...lots of reading all the time (probably average at least 3-400 pages/week of primary source documents)...anyway though....

Pictures about which I'm going to write soon include:

Fasting & Sports

SERIES ON PICTURES - Part 1

Life is filled with pictures...of life...real life...the real life...the real life which is what life is supposed to be.

Pictures are inroads into truths.

Pictures are truths...but they don't explain the truth to you as would a teacher.

Someone must explain the picture to you, but at that point at which you understand the truth of the picture...the picture is now a teaching.

See the pictures, ask for explanation...seek out explanation...never give up...for your seeking will be rewarded with finding, and finding leads to wisdom.

my imagination is a little too abstract sometimes...*enters conversation about 8-day old child being like Wolverine from the X-Men*

Anyone have either of these books:

"Phone Calls from the
Dead", the authors D. Scott Rogo and Raymond Bayless

or

Epicenter

What?

Often in the world of interpretation, mistakes are made, only to be discovered, and only to cause a myriad of unintended problems. Can we not limit this any more? Why do we pretend to talk about that which we know nothing about? Why am I posting about this? I don't have any idea, I only wanted to type, and this is what my mind produced....that's a joke. Actually, it's not...but it is a potential misinterpretation of how I think and about what I think. This may seem like gibberish - and it is - but I'm actually being serious. What would "cause" me to write about this...about what must I be thinking or have I been thinking recently in order to come upon such a subject. Life is grand and the cost of misinterpretation is many thousands. Let me explain this as lucidly as I can...

*Articulation commencing*

The cool autumn breeze caught the lapel of Ed's jacket and urged it upward toward the under side of his chin. Ed is a ticklish guy, and so the subtle brushing made him flinch his right arm up to slap the itch away. As luck would have it, he forgot that he was carrying a pen knife. As he was walking back from whittling a small redwood branch on the park bench he hadn't capped the blade and then placed it in his hip pocket as usual. As the arm jerked like a lightning bolt with the spear of a knife focused on his throat, a thought flashed through Ed's mind. No way... That was it. The pen smashed into his throat - taking a reflexive gulp - and all the while Ed closed his eyes in dismay...what kind of luck must one have to stab himself in the neck. This is the stuff you don't ever hear about happening, even in books. Perhaps this analysis is a bit unnecessary considering I'm a "dead man," but maybe it's not. Ed didn't die that day...he died the next.

*Finished*

What was that all about?

THOUGHTS

A stirring occurs, the senses elevate
To recognize what the mind cannot contemplate,


THOUGHTS:
-God's preparation of the world for man (in Genesis) as compared to a bride's preparation for a groom - along with the Church's preparation for Christ, the Bridegroom's Return

-Adam and his rib --> God and us....being united unto God again...as He is the fullness of all things...that we are part of the Body of Christ...

-Only the greater can ever bless the lesser...is this accurate? In the Pslams, David says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul. With all that I am, praise His holy name."

-The "Gospel of John" was actually written by Lazarus and edited by John of Patmos.....
-The book "Revelation" was written by John of Patmos, who was not the apostle John.....
-A ton of church theology is extra-biblical....pseudepigrapha and wisdom texts.....have we elevated it to Scriptural equality in our hearts?

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ.

Yeah, you can get pretty far with eloquent speech,
Though you can get even farther when that speech is sweet,
Like honey from the comb, It makes you feel at home,
Enlivened by words you'd consider your own,
But as soon at they enter they're gone,
This is the story of the orator's throne,
Make you think anything, then tag it as known,
Like Sintax said, "make you think that we care about Sierra Leon."

We don't really care, we just pretend,
Anything for reaction and the money you spend,
I could talk about the same, I could talk about this,
Half the time I talk about what I've only briefly glimpsed.
Then it's over and I haven't spoke about it since...
Or maybe I have, but I doesn't matter because I'm a prince

Anger-pangs

I wanna shout profanities, in my mind their demanding me,
But I can't even allow them ground unless I want more calamity.
Why am I panicking, running in my imagination franticly?
Where is the deliverance that I've heard can change you radically?

this might be developed

Delivered up like Uriah,
My own friends conspired,
Couldn't hold back their desires,
And so they tossed me in the fire.

How can I rebuke, can I rebuke at all?
Cast away for 30 pieces, that's my most holy call,
Walking talk, cut at the knees, now I can't even crawl,
On my face, crying out to Jesus, why did man have to fall?

Roar

My eyes burn, they're blazing.
Nobody sees through the fire that I'm gazing,

It's hard to admire minds glazing,
Attitudes phasing, in and out of existence,
One minute, loving, the next, hate offers its assistance.

The folly

Open lips, light breaths with heavy content,
Truth slips out from the mind that's been its convent.
Never intended to reduce the importance of your lament,
I only hope your intent, was more than to just repent.

There was a call, and the call became abrasive,
Surrender and suffer were the terms, so persuasive,
Exclusive truth where relativism is so pervasive,
In a world of invulnerable people this is a bit too invasive.

Maneuver evasively away from the arguments berating me,
Looking under every rock for another vindicating me,
Nothing new is under the sun,
Indicating that with the darkness, I must be one.

forced-post lines

I had to, I couldn't stop myself,
I couldn't help the selfish feeling that was not myself,
I tried to cop some wealth,
And no one in the immediate vicinity would stop to help.

Truth slides down the drain as morality flounders,
"Choose" chanted in vain, as we all begin to wonder,
How can we maintain before life is blown asunder,
What can we restrain before it thunders?

Lightning strikes as the darkness eclipses
Life held in the balance, culture kisses
Goodness goodbye, it's a wicked lullaby
All the time wondering why...

Stride past the girl who dropped her books,
Glance to my left, away, you know where everyone looks,
Saw a friend, said, "hey", but that's as far as it took,
My life is center-stage, and I'm a crook

Stealing from my family, Friends pretend they love me,
Acting like I'm manly, man, I'm anything but lovely,
Holding on to bitterness's edge, carrying the chip across my shoulders
From the Truth I fled, and in turn my heart grows colder
My sins get bolder, my fins get sharper, My heart is getting harder
If I could only get farther,
To get away from the Father...
Even though my heart grows colder, the world is getting hotter
Until that day, when the clay is dashed by the Potter




Why run when you could walk?
Why draw with a pencil when you could make it beautiful with chalk?
Why not try to sit in silence rather than talk?

Off-night, not on duty

Go figure that the night I'm not on "official" duty at the Suites...is the night when I get called back (which isn't bad because I love hanging with my co-hall supervisors :)) to help keep the peace.

God is good, and all problems were resolved either by us or by campus security...Also, thank the Lord for campus security. Those guys are amazing...I was never really privy to their incredible tact, their desire to protect and serve, and their calmness. I salute them as they made our job a whole lot easier.

I am so thankful that not one of our students was hurt, and that no one provoked any physical fights with us. It almost seemed as if it would happen at one point...but praise the Lord, He kept us cool and placed His perfect protection around us. Bless the Lord O our souls, REJOICE!

Meaning

Terra is obviously meaning "earth or land"

Bithia is a name derived from another name, Bethia.

This name means "daughter of Jehovah"



Terabithia = "God's daughter's land"

Bridge to Terabithia

"Is it like the Bible says? Is she really going to Hell?"

Oh my!!!

This was the greatest 96 minutes of my past week. It's like God's been culminating my love for Him and my walk with Him recently up to the point of convergence with this story...this parable...this fiction of faith...or Reality of Faith as it exists simultaneously.

This movie tore me up.

Talk about being vulnerable to a message...

I loved it and might be writing about this for a long while.

Not a rap...just a rap

There's a question in my soul,
Of which I can't grab a hold,
It's a rock I can't crush,
An answer I just want to be told,
Elusively, it's like an active mystery.
I'm in disbelief.
I remembered then forgot, that's my history.
Why can't we, brothers, be,
Loving to each other when we eat?
What's with the attitudes that we conceive?
Why do we lack common courtesy?
This junk is hurting me,
Deep inside there's a wound burning free,
Like a forest's blaze that is killing trees.

"Like an olive tree, planted by the streams."


What about the prayers that we pray?
What about the words we say each and everyday,
Like we're speaking to Shakespeare blinded by sun rays,
When culture has got it's grip, culture don't let go,
When you've got God in a box, you would hate to lose control,
But what if we really prayed, like how the Psalmists stated,
O my God, "how long will you hide Your face?", it's belated,
And I've just conveyed it,
Though hoping to allay it,
That in a few moments Love will have portrayed it.


Cover your heart up and pretend there's nothing to see,
Like you're perfectly fine, and your wounds don't stink.
Festering cuts that happened long ago,
Repressed memories of others' sins that nobody else knows,
A holey veil over your body to make it seem fine,
But through all the pain one sees when using Jesus' eyes.
Because Jesus' eyes, can see His children's cries,
And don't you hate to see your brethren trapped behind enemy lines?
Don't you hate it when others lie?
Let us ask, then, why do I?

Waiting...true/false

"There's a lot of activity going on...what's happening?"

"I'm not sure...just keep watching...wait for something..."

"What are we waiting for? Will I see something?"

"Maybe...who knows, it might just be a noise...maybe nothing."

"What do you mean, 'maybe nothing?' I thought I would get to see something wonderful."

"What do I mean? What do you mean...you wouldn't know anything about this if I hadn't told you. Why don't you, therefore, relax and enjoy the anticipation...the energy of the moment?"

"I can't stand still...it's getting to me. I'm not sure if this is what I want...I'm not sure that I want to just wait around."

"Look, quite focusing on the time issue of having to wait. Patience is easy if you can focus on something else while you're waiting."

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it like this, when I was young, on Christmas Eve my family would travel to my relatives' and we would have dinner together and read the Biblical account of Jesus' birth and then open presents to each other. But, as long as I was eating dinner, I wasn't as anxious to open presents."

"How does this relate to me though?"

"The idea is that if you focus on something related by talking about it and engaging in it mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually, you will be able to be patient for the initial focus indirectly. Like right now, we're talking about waiting, but the waiting we had been focused on just moments ago seems less powerful upon us, doesn't it?"

"Yeah...I guess so...it's not gone though."

"Mmhmm...it won't leave you, because you are still tied to that focus in some way."

"I think I'm beginning to understand it a little better, mayb----Hey look at that!

"I see! I see!"

I am so excited about the LORD today. I can't comprehend the greatness which He extends to us, but I am still super pumped. WOW!!!!!!!!!!


With my lips, holy words slip off my tongue,
There's a song to be sung,
A song of praise,
To my God the Son,
All the years I've clung
To His holy name,

Now I cannot exclaim,
His beauty nor His fame,
With my heart unrestrained,
Jesus, I proclaim

Inside my heart
There's a wonderful reaction,
Inside my soul, I'm saved.
Inside my head, a splendid addiction,
He satisfies with the love I crave.

More to come...I think

WOW!!! Today was busy to a new level. I mean, it was busy like SOAR's busiest day.

I got up at 8:00 and I'm still not finished (and I haven't had a break from productive activity yet-because this post is productive in a way, in that it allows my mind to relax briefly as I mentally recharge before hitting the historical facts again for another 45 min-hour).

I'm reading a ton for my Gnostics, Pagans, and Heretics course. Today's assignment was over 100 pages for tomorrow's class...and it wasn't completely horrible. I actually enjoyed some of it.


Now, to the serious stuff...I've been thinking for awhile about shaving my head and letting my hair grow really long. It would be in the act of consecration: 1) as the Nazirites did... 2) similarly, but as a symbol of a vow to the Lord.

A friend sent me an e-mail tonight about a spiritual happening with believers in which something like this happened in a boy's dream....and it peaked my spirit's interest again since I'd had the thoughts from several months back.

More to come...more to read...more to learn...more to know...more to thank God...and more to recognize that we don't know much from an eternal perspective...it's glorious

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. AMEN!

Vanity

Caring for others is really a vain pursuit unless coupled with a faith in a greater purpose of and for which you are really only at work out of love (meaning two things…what makes us think that we have any power to help people – done in vain, no impact –…and we’re just like them with our own problems, do we think we’re better than them – vanity).

Optimism

There are studies that would seem to show that people with optimistic attitudes live longest. Perhaps, this evidence is true because these people are able to endure the worst…and rebound quickly. You probably know this…but in his book Night, Elie Wiesel speaks to the truth that only those who have something to live for, such as he did while in the concentration camps in Nazi Germany, survive. There is also the cliché, “Only the strong survive.” Interestingly enough…the strongest person ever died young…as a decision so that all might live forever…

In Vain

As you know, the Enemy loves to deceive us into fruitlessness by drawing us into prayer without purpose…petitioning without solid petition…asking for the purpose of asking without a purpose of receiving. If only we questioned our Lord who provides wisdom to all without finding fault as we do our computer-literate salesperson when seeking to buy a new computer instead of stating vagaries like we do with God, never expecting to receive an answer without finding it out ourselves. Search with purpose, ask a question you want answered...ask for the right questions to ask...don't just say the Lord's name in vain

False revival in the body

I recently read this short story and it had one of the craziest analogies…and it seemed true. It said, to our body’s cells, “cancer may seem a revival of faith.” I was thinking about this and how for some reason, this perfectly relates to our desire and craving for sin…the energy is creates and the nerves it stimulates…like our blood coursing through our veins…the accelerated heart rates…Sin, therefore, does seem a lot like cancer…it seems to give us life (replication of new cells) when in fact it's actually stealing life from us....

Post #141

Psalm 141

A psalm of David.

1 O LORD, I call to you; come quickly to me.
Hear my voice when I call to you.

2 May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.

3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.

4 Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil,
to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
let me not eat of their delicacies.

5 Let a righteous man ^[a] strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head.
My head will not refuse it.
Yet my prayer is ever against the deeds of evildoers;

6 their rulers will be thrown down from the cliffs,
and the wicked will learn that my words were well spoken.

7 They will say, "As one plows and breaks up the earth,
so our bones have been scattered at the mouth of the grave. ^[b] "

8 But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.

9 Keep me from the snares they have laid for me,
from the traps set by evildoers.

10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
while I pass by in safety