I want to address a question I’ve been asked a few times: “Traveling through all these places, having never traveled internationally before, this must be a real step of faith you’re taking?” (It’s a statement addressed as a question).
1. The most obvious answer, correct in some degree is, “No, because I’m too naïve to know better at this point in time.”
There is, however, another reason which expresses why it’s not unwise.
2. First, this decision to leave for Kenya and participate in this training wasn’t something done spur of the moment. It was a decision that came from much prayer and fasting in December and January of 2008-2009. Then, after seeking new information on the project, I waited two and a half months without word on whether or not the program was even going to be offered this year, and if I would be eligible. During those periods of time, and also up through June (as my tickets were cancelled 4 times), I asked the Lord a lot about this, but mainly to make a way for it. It definitely is not the same step of faith that is required in seeking the Lord’s will. Spending weeks in prayer and fasting is where the step of faith took place…trusting God to answer those calls. That was the difficult part. Going, at least for me is much less difficult than answering the question “to where should I go, Lord?” Thus, after God answered that question for me, the question every Christian wants an answer to, the rest came more easily. Surely there have been difficult times, like when I was decided to empty my bank account to go, and would have, but the Lord provided in His timing, and so that wasn’t required, or when my tickets were cancelled for the fourth time, and not so much money had come in that I could have cancelled the whole trip, or planned for another time. These weren’t even really questions in my mind. I knew the Lord was making a way, and I was supposed to be perseverant and “Go.”
In all honesty, trusting to “go” isn’t hard. The Lord proves Himself true and good time and time again. He has never been untrustworthy, and so the more we trust God, the less difficult doing what He says to do becomes. In fact, as He changes my heart, it’s not a contest or struggle to follow. Obedience is a joy. I’m not saying that I’m super-faithful, because I’m far from that. It seems that in order to trust God you have to realize how utterly unfaithful and helpless you are. Thus, as the Lord has answered my prayers to shine a light on the darkness in my own heart, I see more easily how I have no other hope but Him. Likewise, as this truth takes hold in my life through the working of His Holy Spirit, He produces fruit in me of faithfulness
He shows me how bad I am à I realize I have no hope in self (repent) à He shows me that I can hope in Him as He is good and desires me good à I see my hope only in Him and trust in (depend on) Him à He opens my heart to His commands that do me good à I do the Lord’s commands because I know all the good that He has done and promised for me, not to earn them, but out of joy that He has already intended such if I’m in relationship with Him through the faithful work of His Son Jesus Christ to justify me and give me His Holy Spirit which He shares with His Father.
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