Pause

So I'm at this point where I can't think clearly, at least not as clearly as I would like. You probably know what I mean, I'm referring to that point of clarity at which you are able to really access your own heart...uncovering everything you and everyone else has placed over and around it...I'm trying to get there. Every time I get near that point of truth, that portal to mortality and futility awareness, that spot where I am not confused by the conflicting signals sent by the world, I reason my way A-WAY. I want to be there, but at the same time, I don't... I DO though!!!! but I don't...

I'm attempting to contact the deepest, most sensitive heart-of-hearts within me, while at the same time I must manage my way around all the junk which holds it captive. Those captors? Well, me of course...but the irritable, sorrowful, critical, judgmental, complaining, jealous, envious, religious and spiteful aspects of evil (sounds a lot like axis-of-evil ey?) of which there is some cleaning still in order.

I want to think and dream about my mission. I want to catch the Toy Maker's Dream. I want to see the vision...but I'm so caught up in the now. I know I can pause.





but it's hard to pause for long...





It's hard to rest...






He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. - Psalm 91:1





Oh how I need to....how we need to





because the type of contact I'm talking about can only be made in the midst of no distractions...there can't be a "midst" unless it's God, and He's in the Secret Place...the place at which only we and He enter. The place at which there is nothing but us and Him...essentially it's just Him.




It's so hard to put life on pause though...there is so much to do...so much to talk about, write about. There is so much.......anxiety, restlessness...it's just too hard...







and it's so easy to put God on hold...