Murder

You may not know this, but I'm a murderer....straight up cold-blooded killer

Bet you didn't know that one...or expect that to be said, did you?
Yeah, crazy, huh?

I never really told anyone because I didn't know what people would think...well actually I do know what people will think, and that's why I keep it a secret.

You may wonder why I'm telling you now...well I just can't hide the secret anymore....it has been eating at my soul for too long.

I'm sorry that I can't even say I was a good murderer - if there is such a kind of person. I was pretty ruthless...cold hearted...savage. I didn't kill nice and cleanly. I made sure it was bloody. I made sure there was torn flesh. I made sure there was suffering. Lots of it. Over and over and over. And other people were witness to it. There were lots of witnesses.

I don't even care if you hate the fact that I've lied for so long, and you never knew it. Get over it.

The guy I killed (yeah it was a guy) was a good friend of mine, or at least he was at the time. Actually, I should probably say that he was a friend to me, because I didn't really consider him my friend at the time...he was a good guy.


























in fact....he was God.

Thankfully, death didn't stop Him....not only that...but He decided to forgive me and save me from my wickedness. Man what sick and twisted thing I had been. Now to be a new creation, an actual human created in His image...I can only imagine what is to come.

Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, Father. Jesus, thank You for your love and mercy toward me and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, thank You for leading me into all truth.

Bless Your name O Lord God of Heaven. Blessed be Your name.

Amen.

If

Please be in prayer for me this week. I'm very disgusted by the lack of either Christian perspective or care for the Body of Christ by believers on campus. I'm just thinking in the following terms:

First, let's just assume Jesus is right in front of you.
Second, let's assume that you don't know how long you have to live.
Third, let's assume it's important how you live your life, and that honoring God is good.

If you were given the choice of getting together with fellow believers to pray and share about ministry or doing homework, which would you choose? Would you even ask Jesus which option He would choose?

Unless God has vocally spoken to you that you need to work on homework rather than gather with believers....that's messed up

It's sickening. Jesus saw the rich young ruler, the guy had everything going for him, he had money, he followed all the commandments since his youth, JESUS LOVED HIM
and boom, Jesus doesn't pander and say, well, come join me half the time or when you feel like it. Come or don't come.


I'm not saying people can't do things for the glory of God....but that's just it, it has to keep His glory in the forefront, and I'm pretty sure one isn't thinking with His glory in the forefront if they aren't participating in the 2nd greatest commandment...specifically with the brethren.

If you died tomorrow, would your life have been wasted trying to get "somewhere else" rather than purposeful by engaging where you're at?

To be a Christian is to be called to a life cleaved from the kingdom of this world and joined to God's Kingdom. Let's not confuse our sovereigns.

Take a bite of life, has it killed you yet?
Little apple, simple sin, has it billed you yet?
Has it filled you yet?
How much regret have you had to collect,
When life leads from the Christ that you've had to neglect.
I'm speaking out of respect, not for you, but for God-man elect.

What do you think

Before the creation of all things:

1) Was Jesus a man?
2) Did He have holes in His hands?


My thoughts...yes and yes

Why

Why do people often start prayers with,

Lord, I want to pray for...I just want to pray that...I pray....


Does God not know what we're doing? Are we trying to let others know what we're doing, and that it's intentional that we're speaking into the air?


Not a complaint, just a thought


EDIT: Nehemiah says, "I pray...." in Nehemiah 1:5-7

help

I need some prayer...I'm just feeling really angry and ticked off at people...and overwhelmed and tired....ready to kill, to worn out to cry....like I've been thrown into the whirlwind...

I feel extremely fragile, but not, because there's that sense of, just press on, this is how it always is...

Probably a spiritual attack that had some ground because of my anger which has probably been rooted in disappointment with certain Christians, myself included

I'm like the ultimate self-analyst....but it doesn't make me feel better, it just makes me cognizant of the fact that I could prevent a lot of this by being less proud....

Two "shorts"

Eyes perceive depths, like controlled texts,
Allowing me no rest, trying to unmask what I won't let,
Be made known, though I'm grown,
I still hide like Adam's seed in the garden sown.






I sit and watch from sidelines, sidelined, biding my time,
Before letting Your glory shine, I desire Your love as mine,
For, I desire the fire of Your glory to pour forth,
Hands lifted, weight shifting, the burdens of life lifting,
As our hearts, minds, and eyes are lifting to Yours.